If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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