please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
