Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
