She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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