Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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