Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
