the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
