so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
