don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
