Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
