and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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