shes about as inviting as chlamydia
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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