I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize