you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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