We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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