i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You smell like stripper and shame
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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