I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
