Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Randomize
