So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize