ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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