the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i believe in u and ur pee
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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