You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
