She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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