can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
