god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
