i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
