You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
