You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
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