Heybabeimwearingurpanties
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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