Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize