is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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