This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
