After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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