he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
