please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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