I'm really into asian looking animals
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
