i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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