Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
