Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
