got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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