i can't believe i had my finger in that
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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