If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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