There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
