Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
