so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
