I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
