careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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