who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
