A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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