best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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