Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize