it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
