New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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