chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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