Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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