My first STD was from a foam party
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
don't judge my taste in strippers
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
