Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
