I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
