tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
