Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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