girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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