A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
