Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
