And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
