I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
