Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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