Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize