I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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